month end at work...

...sucks.

malibu

great time seeing the family... and everyone behaved... DOUBLE BONUS!

Then I got to see one of my oldest friends, Jason... he was in Costa Mesa (normally lives in NorCal) for a few days so I got to hang with him on my way down from seeing the family. Was nice for Jason (hubby ) to finally meet Jason (friend). :)

off to malibu

...for my dad's birthday... back tomorrow :)

ahhhh the weekend

The weekend is upon us... today we are heading to Pulse to get my new bike trainer. Hopefully, it will prove to be most useful in my training and provide me with a more positive trainer experience. (This is important since Jason is gone during the week and I simply cannot get out of the house during the week to ride).

dreams

I have very vivid dreams. And the thing about it is... and generally, they're a good indication of my subconscious...and several times, they've been an indication of things happening in my friend's lives (even if I hadn't spoken to them in awhile). But last night I had some extremely crazy dreams, and I'm really hoping that they aren't any indication of bad things happening to those I care about, from afar....

puppy love

The puppy is doing well.... but I am entirely too busy to really post any kind of decent update, so this will suffice....

A Song I'm Really Loving....

I've always loved MCR...and this is very different than a lot of the other songs... yea it's more mainstream...but I actually really enjoy this song...

My Chemical Romance - Sing

Sing it out,
Boy, you’ve got to see what tomorrow brings.
Sing it out,
Girl, you’ve got to be what tomorrow needs.
For every time
That they want to count you out,
And use your voice
Every single time you open up your mouth
Sing it for the boys, sing it for the girls
Every time you that you lose it sing it for the world
Sing it from the heart
Sing it till you’re nuts
Sing it out for the words that’ll hate your guts
Sing it for the death
Sing it for the blood
Sing about everyone that you left behind
Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world
Sing it out, boy they’re gonna sell what tomorrow means
Sing it out girl, with all the kill what tomorrow brings
You’ve got to
Make a choice,
If the music drowns you out.
Www.musicloversgroup.com
And raise your voice,
Every single time they try and shut your mouth.
Sing it for the boys, sing it for the girls
Every time you that you lose it sing it for the world
Sing it from the heart
Sing it till you’re nuts
Sing it out for the words that’ll hate your guts
Sing it for the death
Sing it for the blood
Sing about everyone that you left behind
Sing it for the world
My Chemical Romance Sing lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/my-chemical-romance-sing-lyrics.html

Sing it for the world
Cleaned up corporation,
Park rats dying in the
Process
Children that can talk about it
Living on the
Railways
Creeping, moving sideways
Sell it till your last days
Buy yourself the motivation!
Should’ve reckoned nothing
Nothing ’bout a dance
Burning down the white tree
I am not the singer that you wanted,
But a dancer,
I refuse to answer
Talk about the past, son,
Rolling for the ones who want to get away
Keep running!
Sing it for the boys, sing it for the girls
Every time you that you lose it sing it for the world
Sing it from the heart
Sing it till you’re nuts
Sing it out for the words that’ll hate your guts
Sing it for the death
Sing it for the blood
Sing about everyone that you left behind
Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world
You’ve got to sing what tomorrow brings!
Sing it for the world,
Sing it for the world
Yeah, you’ve got to be what tomorrow needs!
Sing it for the world,
Sing it for the world.

testing with FitnessWave

I love going and seeing Iris at http://www.getdunkedsd.com -- I hadn't seen her in awhile and it was time....

The good: metabolic rate is up to 2% above normal (from being about 2% below normal) and I'm down 8+ lbs since we saw each other last.... The bad: It was 8 lbs of muscle. Grr... And apparently, I'm not eating enough calories so it's time to up that a bit... but make sure a lot of it's protein... And it's time to really up the weight training... so that's something to focus on.

After seeing Iris, Jax, Erika and I did a good circuit workout at the park while the kiddos played.... I'm a bit tired/sore... GOOD!!

I'm slowly becoming more comfortable in my own skin and really enjoying life... I am surrounded by amazing people, both in my family and friendship circles... and life is good.

There are a few key people lacking...but unfortunately, that's beyond my control... though it defnitely saddens me to have to go through certain things without having them to talk to about certain things in my life that only they were privy to...and that hurts...but I can't do anything about it.

sunday funday....

Beautiful run with Randi around fiesta island this morning during Tritonman... I figured it would be a good location for a run because of the scenery... though we felt like old cougars watching the "kids" (aka college students) race!! Definitely a good time, though... put in a solid 8 then headed home to spend some time with my sister and hit up a core power yoga class... definitely a good decision.

Then, this evening, spent some quality time with The Trospers...always great spending time in their company. :)

weekend

So it rained all night, and the roads were too wet for riding... so Jax and I planned a 1.5 hour trainer/30 minute run brick... we enjoyed hanging out with the husbands watching Fringe and Gold Rush while riding... good times had by all :)

My sister gets into town this afternoon...super excited.

puppy

Admittedly, I am not a dog person...but the little guy, whom we've named Kelev, is truly adorable... now to get him to stop whining at 3am... any suggestions?

we are expecting!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....tomorrow at 5pm, we are expecting a PUPPY!! (did you think kid???> oh heck no!!) Buuut....For real!! I never thought we'd say this but, the Lewis Family will be the proud owners of a german shepard pup as of tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!

weekend recap coming soon,I promise....

Today = day 1 (take 50 LOL) of my Paleo diet... wish me luck!! :)


More to follow... my goals for today are to get a run in at lunch and to swim after work....and possibly try to get my p90x and strength in. If I can get 2 out of 3, I will be happy.

Ever accomplish something great, and want to share it with someone... only to realize you can't? What a freaking bummer. I keep having to resist the urge to send an email or a text... out of sheer excitement for the accomplishment.




all the years of shared accomplishments and failures....
This weekend was a big one... a HUGE one. I rode over 106 miles in one day... and capped that off with a half marathon PR of over NINE minutes...and finally cracked the 2 hour time! Super excited, happy, elated....

But hey... I did it.

I made it.

:)

happy 5 year anniversary...

5 years ago, during a gondola ride through Glorietta Bay... Jason got down on one knee and proposed...that was the best decision of my life - saying yes.

5 years down... an eternity to go.

:)

13.1.... and DONE!!

I DID IT... I DID IT... I FINALLY BROKE 2 HOURS IN A HALF MARATHON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1:59.14... and I did it with Jax by my side!! I finally freaking did it... the day after my first century!!!

full update later this week but... i went into this without expectation, and it worked for me!!

106 miles... done

fantastic day with jax and mike... so proud of them!!!!!!!!

Randi killed it out there today with the RU crew... amazing performance, my friend...

palm springs... we have arrived!!

hotel is... not so awesome, but it's just a place to sleep and it's cheap... let the fun begin tomorrow!!

tomorrow....

tomorrow, I leave for Palm Springs... will not have much time to update....

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

"a dream is a wish, your heart makes.... when you're fast asleep"

I'm sure most of you have seen Cinderella... I know I have seen it entirely too many times.

...but anyway - we all dream. Whether we're sleeping or awake, we all have moments where we feel our subconscious (or maybe even conscious) desires are getting intermixed with reality. It happens to me all the time. I've been having some of the craziest dreams lately, and I know that others have been as well. I'm sure of it. I don't know why I feel this way, but I've had such crazy dreams about people I know, that I oftentimes wonder if there's some strange unexplainable meeting of the minds that is occurring. Maybe... maybe not. Who knows.

I suppose I've just had a lot weighing heavily on my mind and heart lately and perhaps it's just beginning to affect me in my sleep.

Ah well... tomorrow is a new day. Work. Lunchtime run. More work. Home. Gotta get some house cleaning and errands done in preparation for the big weekend of "fun" that is in store for all of us. Should be fun - though I might actually crawl through that half marathon on Sunday...literally. Good thing there's no time limit. HAH!

this is for you, Sophie!!

I always appreciate your thoughts and opinion!! You are such an awesome person, and I definitely admire and look up to you for all that you've accomplished and continue to accomplish. Really, I think you're awesome...and appreciate your concern, advice, and conversation!! Merci beaucoup, mon amie!!

In fact, I met with my coach last Thursday and we devised a plan that will (hopefully) enable me to reach my goals AND have more time for myself. My training plan has been cut from approximately 15 hours per week (and mind you, I was very rarely hitting this mark) to around 9:30-10. This is do-able for me. I have approximately 1-1.5 hours of training for 4 days of the week, with Mondays completely off (unless Jason is in town and I voluntarily decide to go to the RU class) and a hill-style trainer workout (approximately 1.5 hours) on Tuesdays, a run wednesdays (1-1.5 hours), a TT style trainer workout (1.5 hours) on Thursday...a run on Friday... a long bike/swim on Saturdays followed up with a run/recovery ride on Sundays... and to fit in a lunchtime swim or run when possible. This is definitely something that I can accomplish, and I am looking forward to putting it to action this week.

This weekend, though... this weekend is Enduro Camp... a century (100 mile) bike ride on Saturday followed up with a 13.1 mile run on Sunday... my legs will be toast. Hopefully, this doesn't crush my already dwindling motivation... maybe it will re-charge and re-motivate me. We shall see. I do know that I am looking forward to the time spent in the company of good friends.

Yesterday, Randi and I went out and HAMMERED IT on the Silver Strand with our race wheels. I love riding with her and we have great conversations that always motivate and inspire me. Randi is an amazing friend, athlete, and person and I look up to her for her strength, determination, and how successful she is in life. I'm really looking forward to our NOLA adventures and any other adventures that the future has in store for us. It has been a great couple years that I've gotten to know her, and I'm pretty sure we'll be in contact for life (she'll never be able to get rid of me... LOL)


Then, after our awesome ride, I got to explore the trails for an hour with my awesome BFF, Jax... We always have the most amazing, deep conversations about life...and the most ridiculous conversations about random things less important. Before Jax, I had never had a true female best friend... I've never really been able to get along with females...but she has definitely shown me that it is possible. She keeps me balanced and grounded, and I am thankful to have her in my life.

Well, now that this post as turned into a "why I love my training partners," I should probably go back to my 12 page research paper that is due for my class at midnight tonight. Why do I procrastinate?

My paper is about social (primarily family) influence and eating disorders. Good thing this the last paper that I have to do before I go on LOA for 3 months!!

wow

I've been blogging a lot. As a child, I kept a journal/diary/whatever and wrote in it religiously. Sometimes several times a day. With our new "digital age," I find myself thrilled to be able to just easily open blogspot and jot down my thoughts.... it's amazing to think that we didn't have this kind of thing so readily available during my childhood, and my Apple IIe with dial up modem and AOL chat, was the "coolest thing ever."

football, food, friends, family...

The best "F" words of life. (Of course, I have another one to add, but we'll keep this appropriate)

In any case, today was a stellar day. Zoe's team won... got in a killer fast and flat ride this morning with Randi and our race wheels... then a trail run with Jax...followed by football and good food.

Ahh life... so fulfilling... it's nice to look around a room of people and feel connected to all of them. :)

hmm

So much better when I'm not swimming with them

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

aquarium

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Song of the Day

"Dynamite" - Taio Cruz

"I-I-I-I-I-I
I came to dance-dance-dance-dance
I hit the floor cause that's my plans plans plans plans
I'm wearing all my favorite brands brands brands brands
Give me some space for both my hands hands hands hands.
Yeah, yeah.

Cause it goes on and on and on.
And it goes on and on and on.
Yeah.

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Saying ay-oh, gotta let go.
I wanna celebrate and live my life
Saying ay-oh, baby let's go.
Cause we gon rock this club
We gon' go all night
We gon' light it up
Like it's dynamite.
Cause I told you once
Now I told you twice
We gon light it up
Like it's dynamite

I came to move move move move
Get out the way of me and my crew crew crew crew
I'm in the club so I'm gonna do do do do
Just what the came here to do do do do
Yeah, yeah

Cause it goes on and on and on.
And it goes on and on and on.
Yeah.

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Saying ay-oh, gotta let go.
I wanna celebrate and live my life
Saying ay-oh, baby let's go.
Cause we gon rock this club
We gon' go all night
We gon' light it up
Like it's dynamite.
Cause I told you once
Now I told you twice
We gon light it up
Like it's dynamite.

I'm gonna take it all like
I'm gonna be the last one standing
I'm alone and all I
I'm gonna be the last one landing.
Cause I-I-I believe it
And I-I-I, I just want it all, I just want it all.
I'm gonna put my hands in the air
Ha-hands hands in the air
Put your hands in the air-air-air-air-air-air-air-air

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Saying ay-oh, gotta let go.
I wanna celebrate and live my life
Saying ay-ooh, baby let's go.
Cause we gon rock this club
We gon' go all night
We gon' light it up
Like it's dynamite,
Cause I told you once
Now I told you twice
We gon light it up
Like it's dynamite..."

great day

Today was an awesome day... took the kids to the aquarium with my brother, his girlfriend, my mom and Jason... then over to the Cove...NOT TO SWIM but to look at the Seals.. :) This was all followed up by lunch, complete with margaritas.

All in all a great day.

Tomorrow is a 2 hour "fun" ride on the strand with Randi and our race wheels... then an hour trail run with Jax and Laura...and then drinking/eating/football.

I absolutely love Superbowl Sunday... SO excited for a great day.

I leave you all with this..

"Can't nobody take my pride...Can't nobody hold me down... ohh no
I got to keep on movin.." - Puff Daddy and Mase

The Four Agreements

I'm almost finished reading it...and it's actually quite amazing. I am really going to need to apply some of the lessons in my daily life...after all, the fourth agreement is"Always try your best."

One of them is "be impeccable in your word." - I do this to a fault... or do it wrong. I call it as I see it, to a fault. And I stop at nothing to get my point across when I feel that it needs to be done. But with this, comes the fact that I tend to over-hammer my points... and this gets me in trouble... as seen in my personal life recently. I suppose this goes with my short fuse that I've developed for watching friends suffer or experience frustration and not do something about it. I guess how I see life as such: If it's no longer pleasurable or fun, why do it? I've been struggling with this myself in my athletic life, and apparently in my personal life too.

Another is "don't take anything personally" - which I am horrible at. I take EVERYTHING personally.

Another even still is "don't make assumptions" - I do this as well.

So this will be an interesting journey... to better myself...my life, and the lives of those around me.

Change can only happen from within.

and with that, I'm off to bed. The last hour has definitely emotionally drained me.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Hopefully.

song stuck in my head

"Grenade" by Bruno Mars.

"Easy come, easy go, that's just how you live
Oh, take, take, take it all but you never give
Should've known you was trouble from the first kiss
Had your eyes wide open, why were they open?


Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
'Cause what you don't understand is

I'd catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya

I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won't do the same
No, no, no, no

Black, black, black and blue, beat me 'til I'm numb
Tell the devil I said, hey, when you get back to where you're from
Mad woman, bad woman, that's just what you are, yeah
You'll smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car

Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, yes, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
'Cause what you don't understand is

I'd catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya

I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for ya, baby
But you won't do the same

If my body was on fire
Ooh, you'd watch me burn down in flames
You said you loved me, you're a liar
'Cause you never, ever, ever did, baby

But darling, I'd still catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya
I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won't do the same
No, you won't do the same
You wouldn't do the same
Ooh, you never do the same
No, no, no, no"

ouch!!

So I've probably mentioned it before, but I have a degenerating disc in my neck as well as some pinched nerves in my neck and shoulders. My MD is actually surprised that I do as much as I do...but really, it's not so much a matter of it being painful WHILE I'm doing things - adrenaline takes over - and I'd much rather self medicate with adrenaline than any of the other medications that they've given me.

Today I went in for a cervical spine epidural (or something along those lines)... and was told to "take it easy" this weekend... so I clarified what that meant, because I plan to do several things this weekend. The answer: No bikram, long rides, or a run tomorrow. I can run Sunday and ride "gently" tomorrow. Super.

Well, the lidocaine from the procedure is wearing off and my shoulder HURTS. I hope it dissipates. Long, fun weekend ahead.

I leave you with a quote from one of my favorite transcendentalists... Mr Ralph Waldo Emerson...

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And when we bring what is within us out into the world, miracles happen."

Ok, life... you've thrown me a few curves... now to BRING IT :)

another day....

.... BRING ON THE WEEKEND :)


This weekend, the sole purpose of my workouts will be to "pre-tox" for the food and drink of Sunday. The SuperBowl is a holiday in and of iteself in my home, so this will be a great weekend. Unfortunately, I don't particularly care about either of the teams playing. However, my 7 year old has been a Green Bay fan for a few years, so she's super excited. I don't particularly like the Steelers... so we'll be rooting for the CheeseHeads.... totally jealous that my coach is going to be in PA to watch the big game... lucky ass!!

Anyway, I leave you with this:

:D

:)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

planning 2011

I used to do every race that I could.
I'd sign up for things just because "I could."
Never again.
I wasted time, money, life energy... just to "do things because I could."

But not anymore. Now I am being choosy, selective...

My schedule:

February 12: Palm Springs Century Ride
February 13: Palm Springs Half Marathon
April 17: NOLA 70.3
August 20: Sprint Nationals
October: CAF relay
November: mayyybbeee Savannah Marathon
December: Vegas RnR 1/2 Marathon (doing the RUN THROUGH WEDDING with jax and friends)


other maybes: San Diego Rock and Roll Half Marathon, Surf Town Sprint Triathlon...

Then lots of volunteering, spending time with my kids, and some good solid training in there.

Just got my schedule from my coach... he put together a solid plan for me for the next few months and I am so appreciative that he worked with my schedule and life to get everything squared away.

I'm looking forward to the weekend... Long ride Saturday, (maybe) short ride Sunday, (definitely) trail run pre-superbowl... time with friends, the kids, my husband...

Hopefully I can shake the fact that I'm super bummed about what happened today....

going back...

Ever listen to music and the songs just take you back somewhere, to some other time in your life? Where you can't put your finger on it, but the emotions/sensations/feelings are so real that it's almost like you're there again? Happens to me a lot lately.

to you

...yea you... because I know you read this from time to time.

Please know that I didn't mean it when I said I wouldn't be here when things fall apart again... because you know I will... because well... you know.

But I will leave with this...

loss

The loss of a longstanding friendship, whether to death, distance, or external circumstances beyond my control... is still excessively painful. I think moreso when it happens not due to fight or differences, but rather that which I cannot change... Ten years is a long time to invest in anything... that's an entire decade... the last ten years have been the most turbulant, incredible, growth periods... and having a few constants has has been nice. Actually, I'm quite heartbroken about it. It's unfortunate.

It's like a bad breakup in a romantic relationship... though I think it hurts MORE to lose a good friend... especially one who has seen you through so much good...and quite a bit of bad as well.. who saw me in some of my darkest hours and shining moments.

I just hope that it won't hurt this bad for much longer. I'll be fine.

You will be missed.

not broken...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

SO my finger has been bent, unable to move for a few days...and has been hurting for 2-3 weeks... when the doctor saw it, she said "that looks broken or dislocated" but the xrays said otherwise. Maybe it's just over use of the middle finger???! LOL

new day... and it's ALMOST FRIDAY :)

I am looking forward to this weekend... for a variety of reasons.

1) My younger brother and his girlfriend, who live near Buffalo, NY are in town...and is staying with us Saturday and Sunday nights. Additionally, we have my step daughter this weekend AND Jake (brother) has my nephew for the weekend, so my house will be filled with lots of screaming and fighting the pleasant pitter patter of little feet.
2) SUPERBOWL SUNDAY - this is like Hanukkah in my house in terms of importance. Football is my family's Sunday religion (LOL) and we always have a huge party...

3) 4+ hour hilly ride with some awesome, inspiring, fun, encouraging, great friends.

4) Trail running with Laura and Jax on Sunday (pre-Superbowl) - I call this a Pre-Tox run. HAHA


So I'm definitely excited for the weekend. Great workouts, family time, and football. What more could I ask for.... hmm...well, a million dollars would be nice...but lets be realistic here.

On tonight's menu.... Tri-Strength class at Rehab United (http://www.rehabunited.com) followed by a meeting with the Coach, and sushi with Randi... definitely looking forward to all of it.

ahhh emotions

Last night was not one of my crowning evenings. I was cranky and tired, and running off about 2 hours of sleep from the night before. I had 10000 things going through my head and not enough energy to properly process my thoughts. So what did I do? I kind of went off on people that I deeply care about. Super. I really need to work on that. Perhaps get a punching bag or go for a run, instead of just being a brat because I'm feeling down and exhausted.

I also learned something new last night... I went to a high school called "Emma Willard" (which, on logos, banners, emblems, etc is referred to often as EWS, or Emma Willard School) which was in Troy, NY... well, apparently there's a school called "Emma Willard School" in OH. I was so confused at first as to why, when I was looking for classmates, guys were coming up in the search results, as EWS was an all girls establishment.

Strange.

Well, that's enough for now... I've decided that I'm going to write my autobiography.... even if just for myself or my family. But I've had a pretty interesting life, and am lucky to be where I am today.

(Now to find the time, right?)

you know

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And when we bring what is within us out into the world, miracles happen." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If that man were alive today, I'd probably want to marry him. Admittedly, I'm a Transcendentalist...

But anyway... that quote has always made so much sense to me. And lately, I've been doing a lot of discovery with respect to what lies within me. There is so much emotion... so much thought... so many decisions to be made, places and people to enjoy... newfound realizations to explore.

I really do love my life... now to just find the love for myself.