...my kids... They are extensions of me. They are my DNA, my blood, sweat, and tears...they are a challenge more rewarding and difficult than any race. Some days, I think to myself "Holy Sh*t...I'm in charge of these kids!!" And what a responsibility it seems to be these days... oftentimes I feel bad for bringing them up in such a messed up world... so all I can do is smile, and bring my kids up in the best environment that we, as parents, can provide for them.
TOnight, Ellie told me that she was "listening with her eyes open." - Ok, kid, well... at least you're listening <3
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
today I love...
As Jax sat in the sauna after a swim and hot tub, we discussed our daily "self like." Today... I like my brain... it has gotten me thus far and has provided me with a really interesting way of thinking... (Not always good)
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
loving myself...?
Today, my good thing is: MY EYES. I've always loved them. Even when the rest of my body has let me down, my eyes have always been there for me. ;)
Had a fantastic swim with Jax... a decent day at work...and the kids were pretty awesome, as usual.
My eyelids are getting heavy... so this will have to be short.
Had a fantastic swim with Jax... a decent day at work...and the kids were pretty awesome, as usual.
My eyelids are getting heavy... so this will have to be short.
Monday, January 10, 2011
good things, day 1
Jax and I are trying this "self project" thing and one of our daily tasks is to come up with something that we like about ourselves...
Well... I like my butt. Sometimes... in the right pants... on days that don't end in Y... ok, that's not helpful...but yea, I guess you could say that I like my butt.
Now, I'm adding... something I don't like about myself...but instead of just complaining about it... I'm going to say what I am going to do to change it...
I don't like my core/abs. So, I am going to incorporate situps, crunches, planks, and a few other exercises into my daily routine (I already do 50-100 pushups every day, so why not add a couple other daily rituals)
Why do I want a stronger core? Easy... EVERYTHING!! A stronger core will help my posture, my back, my shoulders, AND my athletic performance.
Well... I like my butt. Sometimes... in the right pants... on days that don't end in Y... ok, that's not helpful...but yea, I guess you could say that I like my butt.
Now, I'm adding... something I don't like about myself...but instead of just complaining about it... I'm going to say what I am going to do to change it...
I don't like my core/abs. So, I am going to incorporate situps, crunches, planks, and a few other exercises into my daily routine (I already do 50-100 pushups every day, so why not add a couple other daily rituals)
Why do I want a stronger core? Easy... EVERYTHING!! A stronger core will help my posture, my back, my shoulders, AND my athletic performance.
the "perfect beginning"
Today is 1/10/11.... any way you look at it... its 1/10/11 :) So, in keeping with my nontraditional ways, today is my New Year's Day. The beginning of the year is off to a fantastic start, but I've decided that today is the true New Year for me.
During our trail run on Saturday, Jax and I came up with several goals for ourselves... since, as I've mentioned before, I don't buy into the "resolution bandwagon," I'm not calling them resolutions but rather "Self Improvement Steps." --- and these do not involve anyone besides myself.... these aren't the type of resolutions where I promise to be a better wife and mom, because that's a given and a constant in my life. I do not need "resolutions" to remind me to strive to always be a better person :) However... I do like to have certain goals and decisions written out... so it's black and white... (besides always improving my relationship with my husband and children is non-negotiable. ;)
Here's what I've come up with (for accountability purposes):
1) No candy, soda, or fake sugar substitutes until February 11th (baby steps)
2) Follow the "blood type diet" until February 10th (and re-evaluate from there)
3) Attack each of my workouts with purpose and complete them as planned.
4) Weekly menu and grocery list. No random "stops to the store" to pick up "one thing."
5) Homework. On time. Everytime. No questions. This is my last class before my 3 month leave of absence... so I need to go big and take care of business with good grades.
We also discussed our 5-10 year plan. Among some of my further out goals include
1) Level 1 USAT certification
2) Ironman.
3) MFT certification and possibly Substance Abuse Certification
4) Nutrition certification/classes...
5) Triathlon program for disadvantaged and at-risk youth
I was also thinking about one day perhaps starting a "total body gym" -- meaning a gym that not only deals with nutrition and physical aspects of being healthy, but the emotional ones as well. Really cater to the WHOLE BODY approach to fitness and training. Have a special focus on those who have dealt with eating disorders and children... Obviously, this is a very distant future goal as I need capital, licensing, and certifications in various areas... but it's definitely a big interest of mine and I would love to be able to incorporate my academic background in psychology with my love of fitness and training...and my life experiences...into a job. Now to just be able to get there.
Perhaps I'll make a Pepsi Refresh proposal... all I know is that I really want to make a difference in the world... However, I also know is that change has to start at home, from within... and that I need to be the best person, parent, wife, friend, sister, daughter, student, athlete, aunt, cousin, employee, etc... that I can be...before I can even THINK to reach out and help anyone else.
Well... I'm sitting here eating my blackberries/blueberries/fage for breakfast and better get going on today's work. :)
Have a great day, everyone... make it COUNT!
During our trail run on Saturday, Jax and I came up with several goals for ourselves... since, as I've mentioned before, I don't buy into the "resolution bandwagon," I'm not calling them resolutions but rather "Self Improvement Steps." --- and these do not involve anyone besides myself.... these aren't the type of resolutions where I promise to be a better wife and mom, because that's a given and a constant in my life. I do not need "resolutions" to remind me to strive to always be a better person :) However... I do like to have certain goals and decisions written out... so it's black and white... (besides always improving my relationship with my husband and children is non-negotiable. ;)
Here's what I've come up with (for accountability purposes):
1) No candy, soda, or fake sugar substitutes until February 11th (baby steps)
2) Follow the "blood type diet" until February 10th (and re-evaluate from there)
3) Attack each of my workouts with purpose and complete them as planned.
4) Weekly menu and grocery list. No random "stops to the store" to pick up "one thing."
5) Homework. On time. Everytime. No questions. This is my last class before my 3 month leave of absence... so I need to go big and take care of business with good grades.
We also discussed our 5-10 year plan. Among some of my further out goals include
1) Level 1 USAT certification
2) Ironman.
3) MFT certification and possibly Substance Abuse Certification
4) Nutrition certification/classes...
5) Triathlon program for disadvantaged and at-risk youth
I was also thinking about one day perhaps starting a "total body gym" -- meaning a gym that not only deals with nutrition and physical aspects of being healthy, but the emotional ones as well. Really cater to the WHOLE BODY approach to fitness and training. Have a special focus on those who have dealt with eating disorders and children... Obviously, this is a very distant future goal as I need capital, licensing, and certifications in various areas... but it's definitely a big interest of mine and I would love to be able to incorporate my academic background in psychology with my love of fitness and training...and my life experiences...into a job. Now to just be able to get there.
Perhaps I'll make a Pepsi Refresh proposal... all I know is that I really want to make a difference in the world... However, I also know is that change has to start at home, from within... and that I need to be the best person, parent, wife, friend, sister, daughter, student, athlete, aunt, cousin, employee, etc... that I can be...before I can even THINK to reach out and help anyone else.
Well... I'm sitting here eating my blackberries/blueberries/fage for breakfast and better get going on today's work. :)
Have a great day, everyone... make it COUNT!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
weekend recap
Awesome weekend...lots of time spent with good friends and my wonderful family...I'd write more but it's late and I'm getting too old to stay up this late.
(Though had to get in my post for the day)
(Though had to get in my post for the day)
Saturday, January 8, 2011
the honesty trails
Today was an amazing 10 mile, hilly trail run with Jax. Not only was it the first long trail run of the season but it was our first "reflections of 2010" run in addition to our "goal setting 2011" run. We discussed some of the biggest "issues" of last year and concluded with a positive spin, and set goals and set the mission of the new year. All in all a phenomenal run. We discovered new trails (there are literally hundreds of miles of trail access from what's pretty much out backyard... a great new playground for the kids...and made self realizations that were necessary in order to begin the year on the right note.
This year, there will be a lot of changes in my life. This year, there will be great things to come.
During our run, we talked about who or what we were going to help...what we were going to accomplish...Jax said to me... "I think we need a project." Well, to us, a "project" is basically someone we wanted to take under our wing and support emotionally, with life, with training, etc.
My answer... "no, this year - we are our own projects. I have so many things that I want to accomplish, so much I need to change about myself...as do you." And so it started...the project.
Project US 2011... and anyone is free to join us in this quest, this "project." All you have to do is commit to make the changes in your own life. This year, I will be working on myself. (though, that's not to say I won't continue to make training plans for those of you who have asked, help support or encourage, or give advice to anyone who is wanting or needing it - and to some of you lucky ones - even when you're NOT asking for it... LOL)
Aside from the usual "lose weight," (and I really don't want to hear the standard "you're not fat" because per my PCM, I could stand to lose 15-20... ), "train smarter," "PR every race," "run faster," "swim more efficiently," and "ride like I stole it" - I have several goals on a more personal level - "finding the balance" "learning to love myself" "respecting myself as an ATHLETE" (and hell, while we're doing that, I should probably start SEEING myself as an athlete...)
There's just so much I want to find within myself this year. I want to go from being a self-proclaimed race defeatest (as in, when things don't go my way at a race, I basically give up - whether consciously or sub consciously) to being as resourceful at a race as I am in real life.
Do I have other goals? Of course. They involve my children, my husband, school, my friends, my family, etc... but that's not what this post is about... though I'll tell you this - I will no longer be the "pushover" with my children... though I will find effective and alternative ways to GENTLY discipline them and demonstrate proper behavior in the most effective way possible... but regardless, this post isn't about that... so I'll leave that for another day.
There was SO much more I wanted to write about... but it will have to wait for another day.
This year, there will be a lot of changes in my life. This year, there will be great things to come.
During our run, we talked about who or what we were going to help...what we were going to accomplish...Jax said to me... "I think we need a project." Well, to us, a "project" is basically someone we wanted to take under our wing and support emotionally, with life, with training, etc.
My answer... "no, this year - we are our own projects. I have so many things that I want to accomplish, so much I need to change about myself...as do you." And so it started...the project.
Project US 2011... and anyone is free to join us in this quest, this "project." All you have to do is commit to make the changes in your own life. This year, I will be working on myself. (though, that's not to say I won't continue to make training plans for those of you who have asked, help support or encourage, or give advice to anyone who is wanting or needing it - and to some of you lucky ones - even when you're NOT asking for it... LOL)
Aside from the usual "lose weight," (and I really don't want to hear the standard "you're not fat" because per my PCM, I could stand to lose 15-20... ), "train smarter," "PR every race," "run faster," "swim more efficiently," and "ride like I stole it" - I have several goals on a more personal level - "finding the balance" "learning to love myself" "respecting myself as an ATHLETE" (and hell, while we're doing that, I should probably start SEEING myself as an athlete...)
There's just so much I want to find within myself this year. I want to go from being a self-proclaimed race defeatest (as in, when things don't go my way at a race, I basically give up - whether consciously or sub consciously) to being as resourceful at a race as I am in real life.
Do I have other goals? Of course. They involve my children, my husband, school, my friends, my family, etc... but that's not what this post is about... though I'll tell you this - I will no longer be the "pushover" with my children... though I will find effective and alternative ways to GENTLY discipline them and demonstrate proper behavior in the most effective way possible... but regardless, this post isn't about that... so I'll leave that for another day.
There was SO much more I wanted to write about... but it will have to wait for another day.
Friday, January 7, 2011
the four agreements
I am reading a book recommended to me... it's called "The Four Agreements." To summarize from its facebook page:
" Ultimately, it is about finding one's own integrity, self-love, and peace by way of absolving oneself from responsibility for the woes of others. The Four Agreements are:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally.
3. Don't Make Assumptions.
4. Always Do Your Best."
In any case, I'm currently on the second agreement. A very good read and definitely worth following and making a part of your life. I'll write more on it later, but for now, I'm off to spend some time with the husband...
2 hour soul searching trail run with Jax in the morning. :)
" Ultimately, it is about finding one's own integrity, self-love, and peace by way of absolving oneself from responsibility for the woes of others. The Four Agreements are:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally.
3. Don't Make Assumptions.
4. Always Do Your Best."
In any case, I'm currently on the second agreement. A very good read and definitely worth following and making a part of your life. I'll write more on it later, but for now, I'm off to spend some time with the husband...
2 hour soul searching trail run with Jax in the morning. :)
Thursday, January 6, 2011
back to school, back to school
Winter break is over...which means I have homework due tonight. Somehow, I will fit that in between spending time with (which includes feeding, bathing, bedtime routine) the kiddos, making Zoe's lunch for tomorrow... oh wait, they are having a bbq tomorrow...SWEET... riding the trainer for 2 hours and doing strength training. Back to life as a work week single parent... should be an interesting evening to say the least.
In other news... I registered for the USAT Sprint National Championships today. This means that after my HIM, I am going to have to start hitting it hard with the speed if I want to qualify for Worlds... I doubt that will happen...but hey... I'm going to have to be able to look myself in the mirror and say "I gave it my all!!"
Here goes nothing :D
In other news... I registered for the USAT Sprint National Championships today. This means that after my HIM, I am going to have to start hitting it hard with the speed if I want to qualify for Worlds... I doubt that will happen...but hey... I'm going to have to be able to look myself in the mirror and say "I gave it my all!!"
Here goes nothing :D
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
in completely other news....
today we filed zoe's adoption paperwork. for those of you who don't know, jason is NOT zoe's biological father... however, he has been the most dad she's ever known, having been living with us for the last 5 years and married for nearly 4.5. The very first time that zoe met jason, she called him "daddy" and I will always say that SHE chose HIM. This has been a long time coming...and I will be so excited when the day comes that we can officially change her last name!! :)
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