Saturday, June 26, 2010

not a quitter

On Thursday night - this weekend's plans changed significantly. My best friend and training partner, Jackie, experienced something that no parent ever wants to experience. Her son, Shanne, fractured his skull and got a bad concussion. We were supposed to race SDIT this weekend as a relay with her mom, Bobbie... but we didn't feel that it was karmically right for us to do the race under the circumstances and that Jackie needed to focus on her son and her family, at this time. Thankfully, after a night in the hospital and a lot of sleep, he is doing better...recovering still...but doing better... which is a true relief to all of us.

So today... I rode my bike from my house to the expo, where I had decided to volunteer regardless of extenuating circumstances. I had a fantastic ride from South Bay to Spanish Landing park... getting to view from my bike, some of the (less) finer parts of San Diego. I had a blast!! I was reminded of why I enjoyed riding so much - the ability to explore new places, see new things...from the seat of my beloved Rocket.

This is why I need to keep reminding myself that it's back to basics. Back to exploring. back to incorporating enjoyment into training. Back to training hard, but training for the right reasons - for me, for accomplishment... for enjoyment. But after a week of inner turmoil, I am ready to resume a new training week.

Tomorrow I am going to swim buddy at the race...and then run with a friend for the 10k portion. I might even ride part of the course. But I am going to enjoy it, help others, and immerse myself in the community that I have grown to love.

I have, however, re-evaluated my bucket list. I had initially thought I might want to set my sights on some larger races... additional 70.3s in the future... but I am not ready. Next year, I want to focus on my running... which is truly my achilles heel in triathlon... I plan to do a couple marathons...and honestly, I would really like to do an ultra. I turn 30 next year, so I think that I am going to make it my goal to run 30 for my 30th.

I think that after that, I am going to stick with olympic distances and a few sprints to keep it fun... but I am not going to devote my life to training. I have a few running goals that I want to achieve... but I don't think they will require the type of training that we have been doing now... and I look forward to seeing what some focused training on a sport-specific race will be able to do for me. I, of course, plan to cross train in the other disciplines (how could I give up my beloved biking? or the relaxation I find in swimming?) But things will be different.

I've been thinking about ultras more and more lately. It seems so much more up my alley... longer, slower, back to nature. I love the feel of dirt and gravel beneath my feet... the way I feel on the trails... the freedom that nature affords me. I think I am going to throw this into the "less distant future" list... and less in the back of my mind than I've put it in the past. You can learn so much about yourself, about your running partners... about life...nature...passion... on the trails...and I look forward to getting to embrace that.

Back to nature... Zen... peace... bring it on!!

(But for now, I am ready to embrace a new training week... gotta finish what I started and finish strong...I've gotta lose the negative attitude and the "cannot do" thoughts that I've been having...and bring back the push, the pain, the drive... and kick this back into high gear...I'm NOT a quitter)

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